I read about this Today show segment first in Notes from the Trenches and then here and here and here. I have been thinking about it and waiting to see the piece (not something I was going to stream at the office). So, this afternoon I went to retrieve Boobah at preschool and this article from the Today show website was hanging on the bulletin board. There was nothing else, just the article tacked to the middle of the board describing the schools programs and all the letters from the state about the schools liscense.
I didn't know quite what to think--were they promoting the idea of cocktail playdates, were they admonishing it, was it there for a reaction?
I watched the piece this evening when I got home and I was perplexed, why did they do the piece? Is it really that amazing to think that Mommies would have a glass of wine in their own homes (or out with other Moms) in the presence of their kids? Was it wrong because it was just the women and kids? Because it was the afternoon? I rarely get to have playdates but we often have friends over in the evening for dinner and there is often a glass of wine or even better, a bourbon slush involved. Is that okay because the men are there and it is evening? No one is criticizing the backyard BBQ.
I have to agree with the sentiment that it was just another way for one set of Moms to find fault with another. Last week it was Oprah's yearly round of Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom where there is no gray. The same here, it seems that its either abstinence in the presence of mothers and kids or we are all irresponsible wine swilling lushes. There was certainly a talented photographer for the piece who made sure that every shot had kids and wine in it to make it seem as if the wine was the central focus--not the socialization of the Moms or the kids.
I never guessed that the hardest part of motherhood would be trying to ignore what other people think of my parenting. It seems like whatever we do there is someone waiting in the wings to make a comment about it--spouses, ex-spouses, other Moms, the media, the grandparents, the school, the co-workers. Its not so hard to shake off the superior comments of the childless, we can write them off as just not understanding because they haven't been there. It takes a whole lot more confidence to stand up to the watchful eye of those in the trenches with you.