Is one normal day too much to ask for, really?

Crud, crud, go away

please don't come back another day

Both kids are back at school today. Boobah's fever is gone, weather was okay, thank goodness for small miracles. I on the other hand feel like something left on the bottom of the cat box. Everything kinda hurts. Of course the fact we swam at 5:15 this morning (or as Gman calls it oh-dark-thirty) didn't help. I was too tired to care what I felt like when I got up--basicaly its one foot in the suit, other foot, pull on clothes, grab bag, grab Kashi bar, open door, leave house. Go back for whatever I forgot. Actually leave driveway.

When I got home I climbed back in bed (after swimming a 1:04 50 and 2:22 100 in the time trials), wondering if Boobah would be well enough for school. Although she wanted to stay home yet again (to have Mommy and/or Daddy all to herself no doubt) she didn't have a fever and was far perkier than she has been in days! By the time I explained to PDQ that it wasn't nice to complain when someone bought you a present when it was something you asked for even if it wasn't EXACTLY which one you wanted, I dropped off both girls and distributed the Valentine's cards at Boobah's school I knew I was in trouble. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I called the trusty Mr. Don, acupuncturist extrodinaire and he paid me an office visit to try and keep it at bay. He warned I might feel awful later but this would get me through the day. Here's hoping! Three meetings, gotta get through three meeting.

Happy Valentine's Day to all, especially my dear, sweet husband with whom I will celebrate eight years of marriage next week!

Fill 'er up

As you may have read in my past blog posts (because really, have I had anything else to say lately??) I am planning to do two triathlons this summer. I signed up for a triathlon class at my gym. There is a lot to learn about swimming, cycling and running. But I am also learning there is also a lot to know about how to fuel your body to make it through those workouts. I don't know what planet I've been on that I missed this obvious link but seeing so directly the link between what goes in and how your body works has certainly given me a new perspective on food.

All my life I have been heavy. My Mom says it started when I was 3 and had my tonsils out. I had been sick pretty much constantly before that point and once I could eat, eat I did! In the time since I’ve done every diet known to man, some with more success than others. I am certainly guilty of emotional eating, eating to celebrate nearly anything, and eating because I am bored. Working out, HARD, for long periods of time is starting to change the way I think about food. Its not about how good it tastes (although that certainly helps!), its about giving my body the fuel it needs to do what I am asking it. This has been a really ah-hah for me over the past few weeks. Don’t eat before a workout and relatively soon after, they have a name for it--bonk. You can't perform at your best, you feel icky. In everyday life you get the same effects when you eat poorly but its not nearly so obvious as it is when you are trying to be an athlete.


It has sparked good conversations at the dinner table with my daughters as well. The older one has a bit of a belly these days and is suddenly a bottomless pit. I hope we are on the fattening up part of a growth spurt before she shoots up but my own insecurities and experiences as a child certainly have my antenna up looking for teachable moments to make her think about what she is eating, how much and why. I want to help her learn to save herself from world of growing up fat. The food is fuel message seems to work. Kids can make connections so quickly if we give them good examples.

I am a seeker of information. I like to have many resources at my disposal to go to when I try to solve a problem. Right now that problem is finding healthy, good tasting food to fuel my body and my family. Kroger has introduced a new website to help all families learn more about food preparation, nutritional information and food safety.

If you are interested in learning more, check out the Kroger site. Go to the Parent Bloggers site to what other bloggers are saying about their resolutions in the Healthy Living: The Perennial Resolution Blog Blast. Best of all, you could write up your own thoughts on the subject, join in the blog blast and have an opportunity to win one of 5 $50 Kroger gift cards! You can also sign up to receive the PBN newsletter so you don’t miss out on all the fun!

So, tell me, what are your resolutions for the new year? How are you doing so far?

I survived triathlon training week 1

I made it through the first week of triathlon training and although I am tired I am still standing upright and nothing hurts too horribly bad. This morning was rough, first we did a little running warm up, then cycling on our bikes on the trainer, then a quick change of clothes and out into the cold to run. When she said we'd run over to the track at the nearby high school, THEN do our workout and run back I had to laugh--as if running TO the track and back wasn't workout enough, especially after the cycling. I will admit, I didn't run the entire time, I walked a bit, very briskly but it was walking. I don't know that my running is faster than my walking, I think it just makes me breathe harder. Once I stopped and tried to cool down, shower and make it to church on time the coughing started. I was surprised it didn't hit me when I was running outside in the cold but I'll take it, easier to shower and cough than it is to run and cough!

According to my heart rate monitor I burned over 2000 calories--no wonder I've been a bottomless pit today! There is serious girl power in the class. While there are men in the class I didn't speak to a single one. The other women though, they'd give shouts of encouragement as they lapped me on the track. What a wonderfully positive place to be! There are older folks, heavier folks and just generally fun folks in the class and I am sure that will get me through. Thanks especially to Es for being so darned supportive and talking me down in my moments of what the hell have I gotten myself into!

You can lead a man to water

...and apparently after he has experienced enough pain, he'll drink.

Yesterday his no water drinking, eating crap ways got the best of him and he couldn't go, if you catch my drift. I am sure if you check him out later, he'll tell you all about it in excruciating detail. So last night we had at least our 100th conversation about how he needs to drink more water. Yes, I am happy he drinks a glass in the morning before he leaves and another one later but really, he needs more than that. Really, even MY acupuncturist says HE needs to drink more water. This morning the above picture shows up so apparently, he at least added one more glass. I went to spin class this morning, I am on water bottle #4.

It's not cancer

Hearing those three little words from the doctor's assistant today was like having the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. I swear I was holding my breath while I was on the phone waiting for my doctor to pull the results from the hospital's computer. I had been trying really hard not to dwell on the possibilities but it was like the big pink elephant in the room that everyone was ignoring. Words like biopsy and pathology being thrown around but no one uttering the "c" word. My doctor assured me he was confident it was nothing but wanted to be sure. I wanted to believe him but wondered how many times doctor's had uttered those words to someone else and it really was something. The rest of the conversation was something about out of sync lining--whatever that means. I was glad when she said he'd explain it next week because I really wasn't listening any more.

I go to bed tonight breathing a little easier and with a little perspective. The last three weeks of waiting and wondering are laid to rest--for now. The realization that we really never do know when our time will come and how it will come has been brought to the forefront for me. I'm going to try to make my life a little more about the present and think less about tomorrow and the day after. I also think about the people fighting cancer like Especially Heather and WhyMommy and lots of others who got the news no one wants and are fighting it so valiantly.

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Tonight I am thankful for my health and that of my family. I'll be saying a special prayer for those who aren't so lucky.

Catching Up on Thanks

As usual I am just a little behind. Following the lead of Greeblemonkey, Bananas and Toddlers and Buildermama I joined the NaBloPoMo 30 Days of Thanks group started by Boogiemum. Its too easy sometimes to lose sight of all the things we are thankful for so here's to 30 days of rembering them.

1. I am thankful for my great friends, online and in real life who keep me sane. I've gotten so many supportive comments, e-mails and phone calls checking up on me the last few days and I really appreciate it.
2. I am thankful for the health of my kids. What a blessing to not have to worry about food allergies like so many of my friends.
3. Today I head back to the gym and get some running and cycling in. I am thankful for both and the desire to get off the couch, do them and take care of myself both physically and mentally.

Ah, that gets my mind back in the groove of being thankful instead of being upset. Yesterday, before I left the house to do all of my errands I looked up the hours of the places I needed to go on the internet before I left. They were all wrong so I spent a lot of time out driving around town that I could have spent relaxing. I got the cookie money deposited, Ann's cookies in the mail, picked up my antibiotic and bought some yarn to attempt an afghan for my nephew to be. It took waaaaaaaaaaay longer than I ever expected. I guess me being stuck on slomo didn't help either.

Losing Time

I went for my procedure yesterday and after spending much time waiting around for my doctor to come and get the party started we were on the way. I have to say I am amazed at how quickly the "happy juice" works. She gave me 'just a little bit' as we headed out of the cubicle and down the hall. I remember the doors to the hall opening and for the next hour or so, that's it! I woke up in the recovery room like I'd had a good nap. For someone who hasn't slept really well in a really long time waking up and not remembering anything is a little strange. A really lovely nurse took care of me, brought Scott back and it wasn't long before we were on our way home--with a detour to Panera for some soup.

I slept all afternoon yesterday. The TV was on but in my head there was no one home. I don't usually sleep that well in the middle of the night, let alone in the middle of the day. Eventually I got out of bed around 4 when my friendly acupuncturist came by to check on me. Gman and the girls were off to our Thursday night program at church. I knew that any more time in bed and it was going to be one long night. I managed to get myself something to eat and roast the pumpkin seeds from our 75 pounds of pumpkins. In my alone time I caught up on all the Grey's Anatomy and Numb3rs the DVR could hold.

As I try to write I am finding I am still a little slow so call this SloMoNaBloPoMo.

Happy NaBloPoMo

Happy November 1st and the beginning of NaBloPoMo where lots of of bloggers all sign up to blog every day for the month. If November is as loaded with activity as October that should be no problem at all.

I am off this morning to the outpatient surgery center for a D&C. As my gynecologist explained it they are going to give me the equivalent of 12 margaritas in an IV, scrape out the contents of my uterus (and yeah, he drew pictures!), and send me home. I shouldn't feel anything worse than the usual menstrual cramps and might not have a period for ahwile. That I can hang with. Oh by the way, no baths or sex for the next two weeks. They should have the pathology reports back by Tuesday although he assures me that he is confident they won't find anything abnormal. I am trying to be as confident in that as he is. One should not play web MD if one does not want to know all the possibilities!

Getting to know my insides

I went to my gyno today as a follow-up to an appointment from about a month ago. I'd been having bleeding issues--like doing it ALL the time. It was annoying but I didn't worry too much. He sent me off to have some blood work done and an ultrasound. His assistant called to tell me my blood work was fine. I called about the u/s results. I called again and again. No return call. So then the debate started, well if it were normal his assistant would call and tell me vs. it was something really bad he'd call me.

Turns out I was right, it was something in between. Apparently he'd been carrying my chart around but hadn't managed to get back to me. It wasn't really bad but it wasn't totally normal, he was glad I was back to see him so he could explain the results. The lining of my uterus was on the thick side, since AF wasn't regular it was hard to tell if it was thick at an appropriate time. He drew pictures of exactly what he was talking about for me on the exam table paper. (And while I appreciated the illustrations in my head I was willing him to get to the freaking point!) The he proceeded to draw a picture of the instrument he could use to do a biopsy. Having just heard a friend relate the tale of her biopsy in the office, I think I turned a little green. He gave me a second option of having a D&C, which is outpatient surgery.

We discussed the pros and cons of both at length, he told me there wasn't too much pain with the biopsy, that he could do it there and then although he'd normally have people take a pain reliever beforehand. He did admit that he's never had one so that it wasn't personal knowledge. One advantage to the D&C (besides being knocked out and feeling nothing) is that it could be the diagnosis tool as well as the cure. Given that I might end up having one anyway and that I am a big freaking chicken, I opted for the D&C.

I wouldn't be too worried about all this except for the fact that the friend who was relaying the story about the biopsy. Her doctor assured her it was probably nothing. It wasn't, it was uterine cancer and she is having surgery on Monday. She's older than I and I know the chances of having the same outcome are pretty small. My doctor did say that he was almost positive it wasn't a big deal, he wanted to do the biopsy to be sure he is right. I know the chances of it being a big problem are small but its still there.

I am going to try and put it out of my mind as much as possible for the next couple of weeks. I am glad that I went when I thought something was off. I know there was a time earlier in my life when I would have talked myself into brushing it off as nothing, it probably is but better safe than sorry.

Another one bites the dust

Yes, another evening gone, poof!

This morning Boobah's other eye was swollen. So I ended up back at the pediatrician's office this evening. Again, they answered my call and fit us in this evening. But by the time I picked her up at preschool, came home, made dinner, took her to the doctor and went to get the prescription it was bed time for the kids.

I ran/walked today at lunch and now I have a seriously sore hip. Perhaps my first assessment that I shouldn't run until I dropped some more pounds was accurate. It figures that this morning I decided I'd sign up for a 5K at the beginning of December to give me a short term goal. I am icing and resting and hoping it feels better soon. Tomorrow was a scheduled rest day so I'll take it and then try swimming on Wednesday. I'm not sure if cycling is aggravating it as well, guess I'll wait and see.

The MVA adventure went into trip #3 today (or 4 if you count that Gman had to leave and come home to get additional paperwork last time). I went at lunch time to return tags, get permanent registration after getting an inspection and to finally get a new driver's license removing the corrective lenses restriction from my license (I've been able to see for almost 2 years now thanks to LASIK). You could read about Gman's nightmare but unfortunately his host ate it. I manged to get the license and license plate thing taken care of but the registration--only at the biggest offices that are totally inconveniently located and only between 8-4 Monday through Friday. That is what we call customer service--NOT!

I HEART our pediatrician

When I arrived to pick Boobah up this afternoon at preschool she was sitting on the directors lap with a wet paper towel on her eye. Apparently she had been on the receiving end of a hand full of sand in the newly topped off sand box of doom. I hate the sandbox, I hate getting it out of her hair and shoes but getting it out of her eye, even worse.

When we left the school she said it was okay and bravely threw away her wet paper towel. After our 15 minute trip through the grocery store on the way home, she was howling that it hurt and begging me to find her wet paper towel. I retrieved the paper towel and called her doctor's office. I left a number and by the time we were home, a nurse was calling me back. Score 1 for the office. I told her what happened, she asked how close I was and when we confirmed I could be there in 10 minutes she said come right over. Score 2. We arrived about 15 minutes later (of course Boobah was taking her daily poop when I got off the phone--NOT something you rush!). The wait was brief. Score 3. She got to see her regular pediatrician (not that it mattered to me but it made her day. He came in, took a look at her, told me he was glad I brought her, even after he determined it was just the sclera that was a bit scratched and not her cornea. Score 4. He gave her a high five and shook my hand. We were in and out of the office in less than an hour from when I called. Priceless. Thanks Dr. M.

If it had been an adult that had the same problem we'd be sitting in the emergency room. It would cost $50 and we might be there all night long contracted some horrible disease and seeing things that no one wants to see. Even if I was able to get into see my doctor it would be hours from I arrived, not an hour from when I called that I would finally get seen. Why can we have great health care for our kids and not get the same kind of care for ourselves. Believe me, I've looked. I am just glad to have a gyn who actually calls me back. If I didn't have to have another doctor I'd pick him anytime but he delivers babies and obviously THAT can screw with your schedule.

So, here's to our dear pediatrician and the fantastic office staff. Could I convince you to see me?

What happened to my stomach of steel?

Blech. That pretty much describes how I feel. I've been so good about working out. Yesterday morning I just couldn't pull myself out of the bed at 5:15 to go swim. My schedule yesterday was light on meetings so I went at lunch time, first few laps fine. Then the nausea hit me. I managed a few more laps on my back. Every time I thought about swimming freestyle again my stomach answered "do it and I'll revolt." I managed to drag myself out of the pool and stumble back to the locker room. Back at my desk I carefully picked things I thought would stop the madness. It worked reasonably well--until the gas came. I don't know what fired me up but the power of the explosions coming out of my backside are like none I've encountered before. I actually blew so much air in the tub it splashed water out--something I'd expect only from Gman (who, is experiencing technical difficulties with his host, he has not disappeared off the face of the earth).

Off to try the magic of acupuncture this morning and see if it can help right my system. Otherwise I might need to avoid others until is passes (no pun intended!).

WhyMommy on Inflammatory Breast Cancer

I am stealing the post below from WhyMommy over at Toddler Planet, she was recently diagnosed with Inflammatory Breat Cancer and is working to get the word out about this fast spreading breast cancer that is often misdiagnosed. I also know a woman IRL who has been fighting the same beast. Please read on, "steal" this post and put it up for your readers to see, and join Team WhyMommy.

From WhyMommy....
We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.
Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.
Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

Blueberry Pickin'

Friday night the girls and I ventured out to a nearby farm to pick blueberries. I warned everyone that they needed to go to the bathroom before we left. Did they? Of course not. We weren't there for 10 minutes before the "I have to PEE" whining started. I told them if they concentrated on finding the biggest, bluest berries it would help take their mind off their ordeal. PDQ said I was right it helped. Finally about 4 pounds of berries later I couldn't take it any more. As we drove the circuitous route back through the farm fields I spotted a port-a-potty. (Of course it was on the other side of the blueberry bushes if only I'd known we could have walked down the row and been there). We stopped, PDQ went first, was in the outhouse 5 seconds before she declared she didn't have to go any more. I reminded her of the previous half hour and she relented, I told her to hold her nose if she had to but she. was. going. They both managed to go, although there were lots of questions about the blue water and the smell and the urinal cakes.

After we got home I whipped up my favorite blueberry recipe, a lemon, blueberry pound cake that I got from Cooking Light. It is light and wonderful. It calls for a bundt pan but I generally make it in two loaf pans, one to eat, one to share or freeze. I also like to add a little lemon zest to the cake and the glaze (you have to squeeze the lemons anyway, might as well use them all!).

Blueberry Pound Cake (from Cooking Light)

2 c granulated sugar
½ c light butter
½ block light cream cheese softened (4 oz cc)
3 large eggs
1 large egg white
3 c all purpose flour divided
2 c fresh or frozen blueberries
1 t baking powder
½ t baking soda
½ t salt
1 8oz carton low-fat lemon yogurt
2 t vanilla extract
cooking spray
1 c powdered sugar
4 t lemon juice (about the juice of 1 lemon)

Preheat oven to 350F
Beat first 3 ingredients at medium speed until well blended (about 5 minutes).
Add eggs and egg white, 1 at a time beating well after each addition. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife.
Combine 2 T flour with blueberries in a small bowl and mix well.
Combine remaining flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add flour mixture to sugar mix alternately with yogurt, beginning and ending with flour mixture.
Fold in blueberry mixture and vanilla; pour cake batter into a 10-inch tube pan coated with cooking spray (I use two loaf pans instead and it turns out well and there is one to freeze!)
Bake at 350F for 70 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. (For the loaf pans I usually set the timer for 50 minutes and start checking, for the convection oven I go with 325F)
Cool cake in pan 10 minutes; remove from pan. Combine powdered sugar and lemon juice in small bowl, drizzle over warm cake.

Yesterday I tackled blueberry freezer jam for the first time. I was glad to see that it was setting up well last night and can't wait to taste. I think it will be a nice change from strawberry during the long winter. I am reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. Its really opened my eyes to the impact of eating more locally grown food so I am trying to do my part. We'll be out at the farm picking more fruits and veggies as well as hitting the local farmers markets. Not only does it reduce the fossil fuels needed to get our food to us, it just tastes better! The book is just generally a good read and I'd recommend it for anyone who even dreams of having their own little plot of land--the family commits to getting all their food from local sources for a year.

The holy grail, a good night's sleep

As I have written on many occasions, like here and here and here I have been fighting serious insomnia demons for awhile now...like since I was pregnant with my almost 4 year old. The last year and a half has been the worst. I thought that having my gallbladder out and stopping the pain was going to be the magic bullet. Then I hoped it might be a book on sleep, acupuncture, Ambien, herbs or eliminating EMF pollution. The Ambien helped me sleep at night but unfortunately made me feel stupid half the next day as well. The acupuncture has had some effect as did the herbs, I think that the combination has helped me leave work and finances and stupid people where they belong--out of my head and bed at night. What they couldn't quite help me overcome were my hormones. I didn't sleep at all when I was pregnant with Boobah, during the middle trimester my OB told me it was hormonal insomnia and unfortunately by the time it cleared I'd be too uncomfortable to sleep--and he was right!

So, I went back to said OB/gyn last week. After his exam upstairs and down I told him of my long, sad tale of sleepless nights. I told him how I wasn't sleeping at ALL the days before AF shows up. And the combination of no sleep and hormones was making me a no good, very bad, not nice person. I felt totally out of control, unable to hold my temper and just plain mean. We discussed the benefits of exercise (which I assured him I knew and was trying to practice), the possibility of a sleeping pill (again, tried) and finally the possibility of using a SSRI during part of my cycle. He told me it sounded like I was obviously pretty sensitive to the hormones, severe PMS or what they are calling PMDD these days and gave me an Rx to try. He told me how to adjust the dose if I was getting some relief but not enough, discussed the advantages of taking it everyday vs. taking it the last half of my cycle and out I walked with an anti-depressant.

Being 5 days before the arrival of Aunt Flo I went ahead and took the plunge. That night I slept reasonably well--along with the next four. Five nights of sleep in a row, including the dreaded two days before she arrived, which journaling my sleep has shown NEVER happens, not even close. I am amazed, I feel like a new person, no screaming, no crying, and no desire to shut the rest of the world and my family out. I only hope that this is the beginning of a long string of rest filled nights and not just the placebo effect of trying something new. So far, two nights without the meds and I am still sleeping. I am half holding my breath, expecting something to get in the way of my sleep but for now I'm going to keep up the other stuff and hope that all rolled together they equal a good night's sleep for a long time to come.

My feet are in serious love with these shoes.

I just gotta say, I heard people rave about Crocs clogs but I just couldn't bring myself to even put my feet in them. I wear a size 10, a pair of big bright clogs where never going to do my feet any favors. Then my sister got these cool Crocs sandals and said they were the most comfortable things ever. I gotta agree. I tried them on in the store and then had to order them online because they only had neon colors. Mine are the chocolate and cotton candy, good name, even better feeling. My feet are so darned happy! I don't know if Stacey and Clinton would approve but I really don't care.

Speaking of love. Check out my eHarmony Marriage evaluation over at Maven Says.

I went for allergy testing this morning after my shrimp eating experience. Sure enough, I tested positive to shrimp, crab and lobster--if that isn't enough to make a crustacean lover cry I don't know what is. I was issued an epinephrine pen and advised to stay away from shellfish with the warning that the reactions generally get worse. What a serious bummer, I really love shellfish, I guess I will be a "turf" girl from here on out. While I was there she tested for environmental allergies, I'd always expected I had them but I never knew to what. Turns out to almost all tree pollen, cats, some molds and a HUGE reaction to dust mites. My wrist was itching before I even walked out of the room from getting tested. Two hours and a dose of Benadryl later its still red and puffy. That might explain my eczema and my allergy attacks turned sinus infection pattern. My instructions are to go home and put covers on my pillows, mattress and box springs. I am anxious to see if it helps.

My head hurts & MILF update

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Time flies and other random thoughts

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In Search of MILFdom Month 4

Dear Aunt Flo, Sugar Mama and N. Somnia,

Please leave me alone. It was SO unfair to all gang up on me at one time and I was weak and I gave in. My own fault for having all that Easter candy laying around and not sharing enough with others before you came knocking on the door. Who was it that came first?

Was it you N. Somnia that finally pushed me over the edge. Did those endless nights of flopping around and thoughts crashing through my head invite Sugar Mama over for a visit? Or was it Aunt Flo with Sugar Mama in tow that made you N. Somnia seem so much bigger and badder than ever? I guess it doesn't really matter, my friend Ambien came for a visit last night and finally, seven hours of uninterrupted sleep and hopefully that means you'll all leave me alone.

I am changing the locks now that Aunt Flo is out the door, N. Somnia stayed away at least last night and hopefully Sugar Mama went with him. The hiding from you all at the gym only helped so much. Now I need to invite Fi Ber back into my life and make sure she and H2O hang together.

Adios amigos!

Lost this week: +3 (its gotta be all water?!)
Exercise: 3 spin classes, 1 treadmill day, 1 elliptical day, 1 strength class
Diet: Easter candy, cake, ice cream (see a pattern?)

It’s Official, I am Losing My Mind

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks trying to keep track of things, my underwear, bra, shoe, school papers and this morning I forgot my ID badge and Boobah’s preschool bag. Yesterday I had a group of people show up for a meeting that I had forgotten about and had a really hard time articulating why we were there. Finally about half an hour in I found the right words and we got something done. I logged on to the computer three times this morning and never did remember what my intent was. It makes me wonder if the lack of sleep is finally catching up to me or maybe it is the change in routine with PDQs babysitter being out of commission for the next few weeks. I’ve been so good about exercise and my diet (other than the comfort food bonanza that was Easter). I hoped that sleep would finally follow suit, not yet.
I started seeing an acupuncturist last week in search of a good night’s sleep and an ability to better handle the stress in my life. Esmerelda has talked about her acupuncture experiences and swears that they’ve helped her fight off the strep that ran rampant in her house as well as deal with the stress of two kids, her mother and soon-to-be-ex-husband. I went for my first appointment, 2 hours long! The person I am seeing is a family friend who I’ve know for about 9 years. It was interesting to see him go back to school and train to be an acupuncturist. I was the benefactor of a massage during part of his training and many greetings where he looked deep into my eyes while checking my pulses. It was a little strange going to see someone you know so well in a new context, there were times when I had to suppress a giggle at something he said because it was off kilter with the way I know him. It wasn’t bad, just different. After the session I definitely felt calm and sleepy. I went home and vegged out on the couch with Gman and went to bed relatively early. I slept better than usual that night and generally just felt more calm. Tuesday I went for my second treatment, again I left feeling calm and sleepy, no surprise on the sleepy part since I was up most of the previous night. I had a relatively good night, it would have been better but Boobah came creeping in and climbed in bed. She made things too warm and too hard to try and contort around, I ended up carrying her back to her bed but the damage was done, I was up for more than an hour but I woke up yesterday morning for cycling class at the gym feeling pretty good and was tired by bedtime last night. Unfortunately sleep last night was more like a series of naps, again a night time visit from Boobah but thankfully Gman took care of her this go ‘round.

So, I’m not sleeping great yet. The sciatic pain from the rowing machine at my parents and then a 5.5 hour drive in the car is better as is my clicking jaw. I feel calmer as well, something everyone in my house will tell you is a good thing! I’m thinking that my energy shake-up has begun and with it maybe my multi-tasking prowess is being compromised. Makes me wonder if it is my body telling me that I should never have been doing it to the extent I have been in the first place. I guess time will tell. Thankfully I haven’t forgotten to pick up a kid anywhere or done anything really stupid at work. I feel like I’ve started an adventure to get to know myself better. I already feel like I am becoming more aware of my body, we’ll see if I can actually learn to listen to it. Hopefully my recent inability to remember anything not permanently attached to my body will clear as well.

Exercise & the Brain

While at home for Easter I caught up on Dad’s stack of Newsweek Magazine. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym and a series of articles on exercise and the brain caught my attention and I had my nose buried in it for a long time. They hit connections across the board—kids, the elderly, adults, depression. As a Mom, someone who has struggled with my weight and watching my Grandmother’s struggle to recover from a stroke the articles really spoke to me so I wanted to share them with you as well.