Saturday, March 31, 2007

In Search of MILFdom week 11

I fought Sugar Mama hard this week. Having given up chocolate for Lent had pretty much neutralized her but this week, she came on strong. I'm sure it had nothing to do with all of the cake--wedding cake, christening cake, birthday cake. Yum, I love cake, creamy icing mmmmmmmmmmm. Obviously I need to de-tox! Other than that I had good workouts, I managed to finish my 20th thing at the gym and earn my shirt. I'll take a picture when I actually get it.

So, I was down 1.2 pounds this week, normally I'd be ecstatic but a week and a half ago I was down even further before the invasion of Aunt Flo. No complaints though. It was nice to see that middle number change.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Mixed Blessing

My parents are coming today to help out with the kids for the next couple of days while PDQs babysitter is having surgery. Then, on Saturday they are taking the kids back home with them for the week of Spring Break. When I originally asked if they’d come out and help for a couple of days it was just part of the childcare calculus plan. When they came to visit for PDQs birthday my Mom inquired about it being Spring Break and offered to take them back home for the week. I was hesitant at first, trying to figure out why that wasn’t a good idea but couldn’t find anything other than it wasn’t part of my carefully calculated plan (and I’d miss them, a lot).

Now its here, my girls are leaving on Saturday morning and we will join them at the end of next week and enjoy a long Easter weekend with my family. This week has been seriously chaotic, there is something going on every night and some nights more than one thing, I feel like I haven’t spent nearly enough time with the girls next week and next week I will mope because I miss them. Don’t get me wrong, we have something planned for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday of next week with only grown-ups. I have at least one small home improvement project planned (G-man—surprise!). And I am relishing the thought of not having morning time fights about getting ready or trying to keep track of anyone but myself (and maybe G-man just a tiny bit).

So the other scary part of the tale, my mother, alone in my house for 3 hours tomorrow morning and then with the kids all day on Friday. It used to make me nuts that she’d come to my house and clean. Now I’ve realized that no matter the state of cleanliness when she arrives she’ll find something to clean-up. Now I either plan a project for her or I just leave the mess to give her something to do. Still, so many hours alone gives me a small dose of anxiety. Not so bad if she could just do the cleaning but when I have to hear it its reminiscent of nails on the chalkboard. Boobah seems to be channeling her, the other day when I told her the size 3 pants didn’t fit her anymore she went upstairs and took ALL of them out of her drawers and put them in a pile to give away. She isn’t such a great help for G-man or I but when Grammy is there she follows her around like a little shadow helping out. Could we bottle that?

So, if you had a child-free week what would you do? What would you miss the most about the kids? What would you not miss at all?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

New review

Head on over to Maven Says to check out my review of Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-Week Program to Beter Sleep and Better Health. The book certainly opened my eyes to even more reasons that I need to be serious about sleeping.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Where the heck did the weekend go?!

I used to crave the weekends, it seemed like we actually had some downtime and there was a chance to relax. Lately, I just don't get that feeling. We have managed to escape the Sunday Curse the last few weekends but I've headed into Monday morning wanting nothing more than to lay in bed and snuggle under the covers.

This weekend we had something going on everyday--Friday was youngest stepson's band concert so we drove the half hour over there. His band was good, the elementary/middle school band was painful to listen to, all those clarinets squawking along. Then we had to wait for him to change his clothes at his mom's house, and I suspect pack as well. After dropping by McDonald's to harass his big brother in the drive thru, we got home and it was after 9PM. I know, I am such an old lady, out until 9 on a Friday night!

Then Saturday started with a skating lesson at 10:15AM. Esmerelda met us there and took on kid duties so Gman and I could attend a wedding. I thought it was small and that meant it would be short, no dice, we were there for nearly 4 hours. So we got home around 4PM after stopping off to get the girls from Es. We invited her over for dinner and started the Sushi festivities when we got home. I tried to watch the Ohio State vs. Memphis game while I was trying to manage the kitchen. We made the sushi, we ate the sushi, Es and her Mom headed out and it was 8PM on Saturday night. The girls got showers and I thought we were good to relax. Ha! In looking at PDQs hair I saw a few suspicious looking brown specs. Aggggggghhhhhhhh, the lice were back. I thought we had eradicated them and were lucky enough to avoid them the second time around when everyone else at daycare got them--guess not. Gman and I were up until nearly 1AM giving everyone the Ceptaphil treatment; washing and/or drying sheets, pillows, and stuffed animals; and calling the daycare providers and our friends who'd had our kids recently.

Finally, Sunday, the day of rest. Yeah, right. We headed to church, then PDQ and I met friends for the local ice rink's Spring show. When it was over we headed to Dick's to acquire the needed stuff to start soccer next week--cleats and shin guards. By the time we hit the road for home it was after 4! Another day sucked down the tubes. When we got home all the girls cared about was playing in yard. Thankfully the little girl next door indulged them and they all hung out together. By the time we were done with dinner I realized that we hadn't even opened PDQs backpack from last week. Sure enough, her poetry journal and book-in-a-bag needed to be done. A bath, a hair check and time for bed--for all of us!

When PDQ told me she had a stomach-ache this morning I was almost relieved. I've worked all day but in the relative peace & quiet of my own home. I did eventually put on clothes.

The worst part of all, I know its going to get worse. There will be ice skating, soccer, youth group, and whatever else they dream up. Right now its only one kid, what happens when they are both old enough to do activities. I was talking to the neighbor last night and my head was swimming when she told me her 2nd grader had something EVERY night of the week and wanted to do ice skating but there was no time. I hope PDQ doesn't find out about it because there is no way I can keep up!

Friday, March 23, 2007

In search of MILFdom, week 10

I was having a great week. By mid-week I was down another 2.5 pounds and the middle number had changed. Then Aunt Flo arrived for a visit and poof, back came the weight. I also wonder if the Group Power class I took last night makes me retain water while my muscles desperately try to repair themselves. The class is fun but seriously hard, non-aerobic work. Looking around the room at the ladies with arms with no dingle-dangle makes me stick it out! It might also have something to do with the fact I slacked on water for a couple of days as well.

The good news for the week, several people noticed I was losing weight! I weigh enough that a pound or two doesn’t make a difference. Last night, two women at church, who had no idea that I’ve been trying to lose weight made comments about how much it looked liked I’ve lost. I wanted to kiss them both! I am generally not good at accepting compliments but I told them both thank you, I’d been working really hard, thanks for noticing! Definite incentive to keep it up. The other good thing, my pants are loose (well, at least my fat pants). Especially in the thighs which is definitely my problem area. I look like I have two giant cauliflower attached to the outside of my upper thighs, they are absolutely mutant. Over the last couple of weeks they’ve become a bit less pronounced—still awful but at least a little less awful.

I worked out 6 times last week, it was nice to be able to get outside and walk last Sunday afternoon. It was a bit chilly but felt good to get outside in the sunshine and move. The rest of the week it was the gym—spinning class, elliptical, group power class. I am only two stamps away from getting my t-shirt in the gym challenge. I need to get in a game of racquetball with Esmerelda or Gman this week.

No new foods this week, just a real understanding that water DOES make a huge difference, as does fiber. Gotta have my high fiber English muffin or wrap every day or I just can’t get near my daily allotment of fiber.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

No as bad as I thought

It turned out that my quad wasn't as bad as I feared. A little ice, a little heat, a little sleep and it felt much better. I threw caution to the wind and went to my spinning class at lunchtime yesterday. I didn't go all out, babying my leg a bit, but I got a great workout. I felt like such a jock working through the pain. Of course at the end of the class I got off the bike and caught my foot on another bike and twisted my leg in just the right way, OUCH. I went back to the office and sat with an ice bag (a Trash Tosser from Blink, they are great for all kinds of stuff!) on my leg praying that I wouldn't end up looking like I'd peed myself.

I thought that lunchtime exercise would get my blood pumping and I'd be on top of my game all afternoon. I was doing really well until about 2:30 and then all I wanted to do was put my head on the table and nap. Unfortunately, not an option.

We had our first run at making sushi at home last night. We weren't quite as proficient as we were under the close supervision of the Sushi Princess but they tasted great. We let the girls pick their fillings, Boobah didn't eat a lot, PDQ loved everything and ate hers as well as some of mine & Gman's. We'll definitely do it again, the only issue was the time, we used the table to make the rolls so then we had to clean it off so we could eat. The children were NOT patient by that time since they knew the food was "done." Gman took some pictures, I'll link up when he's posted since I got to put them all up last time.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Good plan, bad execution

I had a great workout today, 45 minutes on the elliptical, crunches on the ball, a good strech on the stretcher thingie (yeah, that IS the technical term). We went to Rita's Italian Ice after dinner and then hit the Asian grocery store for sushi making ingredients (more on that later). I, being the Martha that I am, pickled some ginger for our future sushi experiences, its going to kill me to wait weeks until it is done. Then I told Gman I was heading upstairs to work on some thank you cards. He beckoned me to come give him a kiss first. Being in a good mood, I thought I'd jog over and do a faux jump into his lap. Good plan, bad execution. My sock covered foot hit the laminate floor off the edge of the rug, I heard a tearing noise come out of my leg, managed to not do a complete split and landed on the floor in front of him curled up in pain. Gman said he heard the noise as well (I was hoping it was just my imagination). OUCH!

It figures, finally, after 2 months of a meeting every Wednesday at 1 o'clock I managed to get free and sign up for the noon spinning class tomorrow. My plan was almost foiled today when I needed to schedule another meeting but I managed to take care of it today instead. Now, I'll be lucky to walk tomorrow let alone cycle. I took some ibuprofen, a hot bath and need to get some ice on it. I read up on quad strains and figure its pretty minor but am NOT looking forward to extracting myself from the bed in the morning.

Oh yeah, the Asian market. It was huge and packed. There was the smell of fish in the air which Boobah pointed out--loudly. What is that smell. Mommy, do you smell something? Something smells gwooooooooossssssssss. Boobah, its fine, could you keep it down, we'll be done soon. Her eyes were as big as saucers when we saw the ice lined trays filled with fish--Mommy, are they alive?! Nope Boobah, they are dead. At the end of the aisle she exclaims, I knew that's what I smelled, its HAMSTERS! I tried not to laugh too hard as I explained to her that they weren't hamsters, they were lobsters. Close, but no cigar.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Come on over and clean your car!

Okay, just kidding. But head on over the Maven Says and check out my review of Blink...and its done products. They are billed as Mom's car solutions. And as a bonus, you'll find information on entering their MessMakers contest which runs through April 15. So go on over and check it out, you know how I love to tell you what I think!

Sushi Sunday

Yesterday afternoon we left the kids in the care of their favorite babysitter and in the company of Karateboy, Tippytornado and their grandma and headed to Baltimore for Sushi Sunday. I don’t know where Esmerelda found the Sushi Princess, but I’m glad she did. We learned to make maki or rolled sushi. I have to say, that in our little group I am the least enthusiastic about sushi. My friend Patty introduced me to it in Cleveland many years ago and we used to make the occasional lunch run. (By odd coincidence, the princess is from Cleveland as well!) I was always a bigger fan of the yummy tempura though. Yes, I’d eat the sushi but raw fish texture is not my thing and the stuff from the grocery store, even if I watch them make it is just a bit rubbery for my taste. Yesterday’s lesson made me a believer, we will be making sushi at our house in the future. Maybe, if we are brave, we’ll even let the kids help, they LOVE veggie rolls.

First, we learned the right technique for making the sticky rice and cooling it. Here are Es and I, just like the ancient Japanese women (ha!) fanning the rice to cool it off so we could season it. Unfortunately for us, she had an awesome rice cooker that none of us have—so when we try to do it on our own we’ll be flying a bit solo in the rice department. Although there mention of there being a sticky, yummy crusty part at the bottom of the pan, a delicacy in Japan, I have to do it once just to try it out.

We spent the next part of the lesson chopping the fish, veggies and egg. We didn’t venture into raw fish—we did use avocado, red bell pepper, scallion, cucumber, smoked salmon and cooked shrimp though and it was fantastic. She also suggested asparagus and I will definitely give that a try in the future. Then we made sauces—G-man hydrated the wasabi with water to get it to the right consistency. Then came my new favorite condiment, Thai chili sauce and mayonnaise. OMG, spicy, creamy goodness.

Finally, everything was ready to roll (ha, ha, I made a punny!). We got our mats, our Nori, and learned the correct technique for rolling our sushi rolls. Thin coating of rice, then sauce if you desire, a few strips of filling (really amazingly little of each ingredient), wet the edge, roll it up in the mat, and wha-la, out pops a long sushi roll. Put it aside for at least 5 minutes seam side down, cut and eat. OMG, creamy avocado, crunchy cucumber, creamy spice sauce, all held together with lightly seasoned rice, heaven. Oh, oh, I almost forgot, the pickled ginger. So. Good. I hate the pink stuff that I’ve had before, this stuff was amazing!

We had a great afternoon, the Sushi Princess was definitely a lovely woman. She opened up her home to us and let us play in her kitchen. The company was great and the food, it was to die for! So, if you’ve ever thought of trying to make your own sushi, I am convinced it is worth the effort.

Saturday, March 17, 2007


Game room tokens wating for a lane: $5.50
2 games of bowling and 4 pairs of shoes: $54.83
The look on your six year olds face when she wins: priceless

Friday, March 16, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In: New Commitment, Week 4

Eventhough I've been sick all week and haven't worked out since Monday, I managed to lose 2.8 pounds this week. I was worried with all the laying around and doing nothing. Maybe my body just needed a rest? The last few days climbing a flight of stairs has induced a coughing fit, a trip to the grocery store to pick up half a dozen things induced a sweat, so I am not sure when I can get back to "real" exercise.

My waist is down 1.25 inches and I am wearing jeans today that I haven't dared to get out of the drawer in many months.

So for the Future MILF challenge I am down 8 pounds, a total of 13 with the 5 I had lost before the holidays.

Find of the week-

  • Mission Carb Watchers Tortillas, 110 calories and 11, yes ELEVEN grams of fiber, if these don't keep you going, I don't know what will!

Here is to happy weigh-ins for all the MILFs. May the luck of the green be with you!

Thanks to everyone for your comments on my post earlier in the week about The Sunday Curse. I was a bit overwhelmed by the response and that so many other people were dealing with it as well. We are having a date this Sunday afternoon, going to the Sushi Princess with Esmerelda to learn how to make great Sushi. Tonights plan is to get a jump on the Sunday afternoon chores that clutter our days. May you all have curse-free Sundays!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

It's Good to Be a Girl

Last Friday was "Mommy & Me" day for PDQ. I promised I would spend the day with her for her birthday and do what she wanted. I took the morning off and volunteered in her class which is generally a hoot. Getting called "Miss Abby's Mom" and hearing them try to one up each other is so darned cute. One little guy always makes me laugh, and he knows it, so he tries really hard! He wears cowboy boots and hunting shirts or in this case Motocross. He reminds me a lot of my BIL. He messed something up and declared "oh tartar sauce!" which nearly made me fall out of my chair. I was a little disappointed when Abby's crush moved on from him to another little boy in the class. Apparently PDQ had told everyone she was getting a pedicure. One little girl informed me her Mommy did manicures and pedicures and she even waxes people's feet. We would be forgoing that particular service.

After school we headed to the mall, she wanted food court Chinese food for lunch--her FAVORITE, she declared. And then it was off for the ear piercing and pedicure. On our way to the aforementioned attractions we stopped at Zale's to pick up my engagement ring which they took hostage THREE months ago to repair a prong that they had just fixed and replace a baugette that fell out. They had finally called to tell me it was ready. I got there and lo and behold, they couldn't find it, and they gave me attitude about it--was I sure they called? Yeah, just as sure as I was that they'd had it since the beginning of December and I was not happy about it at all. Then they had the audacity to ask me how much the estimate was, I was tempted to lie, but then sending a nasty letter wouldn't be nearly as effective. You know, someone apologizing for it taking so long or that they couldn't find it would have made me feel much better but nope, they couldn't even come up with common courtesy. I have already warned G-man that he is never, ever to set foot in the store again.

Okay, sorry for the we headed to Libby Lu, the girliest store in the world. They call everyone princess, everything is pink, and their bags are actually miniature carboard purses. She picked out aquamarine flowers since they are her birthstone AND blue is her new favorite color. So, I sign away my life, we pick out earrings and wait for the big event. When the woman marked PDQs ears I was a little bit surprised, I had no idea how tiny her earlobes were--there really wasn't a ton of room for earrings. PDQ was totally cool about it and held my hand but didn't even squeeze when they put the earrings in. I had left this part of the adventure out when telling my Mom what we were up to--she made us wait until we were in the third grade. I was sure she'd have some "advice" for me and I knew that I could do without it. I knew PDQ would show her as soon as we got home and she wouldn't dare say anything in front of her.

We ventured down the corridor to the nearest nail place where I'd always gotten good service at a decent price. The guy working at the desk lit up when he saw PDQ and was thrilled do her toes. He was very excited about the possibility of giving her flowers on her toes. Definitely the highlight of my day to have my winter nasty feet attended to while watching PDQ enjoy herself. She had to perch on the edge of the chair to get her feet in the water. She didn't think much of the exfoliating scrub, but she was digging on the massage. She picked out blue polish and got flowers on her big toes. All the women in the place ooh and ahh'd at which time she also showed them her ears as well. She was soaking up the attention like my feet were soaking up the moisture after the very long, hard winter.

There are days when I worry about having two teenage girls. There are days when the whining just about drives me out of my ever loving mind. And then there are days like this. I couldn't believe how grown up my little girl is getting. It was so fun to hang out with her and hear her take on the world. To be part of her world at school so I can keep up with the stories. I am so glad that I have a job that is flexible enough to volunteer every month and spend the important days with my kids.

My Suburban Bliss (yes, you get two posts, two posts in one!)

Since we started house hunting this time last year part of my suburban dream was to have a backyard where the kids could play. Well, as cute as my kids are, they aren't great at keeping themselves occupied outside without stuff. We decided that Santa would bring a swing set to cap off our new backyard because there was no way we were getting one installed late last summer after moving and praying and waiting and waiting and praying and waiting for our house to sell.

Finally, yesterday G-man completed the task. You can read his take on it here. For me, the crowing moment was yesterday afternoon when I took this picture from my kitchen window. Yes, the girls can play outside and I can watch them from the kitchen or the family room.

And, who wouldn't want to be a part of this family?! Kudos to G-man for his fine workmanship (and not asking me for worker's comp!)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

What I've accomplished today

  • The alarm went off, twice, finally I turned it off instead of hitting snooze, fumbled for the phone and called my boss to tell her I wasn't coming in today.
  • Helped G-man get the girls ready and out the door.
  • Took a bath, trying to steam the gunk out of my head.
  • Cancelled my dinner plans with 3 women from an e-group that I've been part of for nearly 7 years! (boo hoo)
  • Updated a project plan, 3 different times and had the server barf on me every time I tried to save it. I e-mailed the guy in charge of it and he reminded me it really hates VPN.
  • Compiled a bunch of stuff for a meeting tomorrow and sent it out
  • Made lunch for G-man and nuked my own Lean Cuisine.
  • Played spy, taking pictures from our bathroom window of G-man constructing the swing set that Santa brought.
  • Made the appropriate grimaces when he came in to show me the finger that he hit really, really hard with a hammer. It is pretty gruesome.
  • Took large doses of ibuprofen to try and get the pain in my head to recede.
  • Took a shower thinking that if I were cleaner I'd feel better (no dice).
  • Read a large part of Wild Fire by Nelson DeMille. I usually read mindless crap but DeMille does a great job of making the potentially cataclysmic seem possible and makes you want to read all about it. I keep having to remind myself its fiction.
  • Defrosted something for dinner
  • Sat outside, its 78 degrees!?, and kept G-man company
  • Read lots and lots and lots of blog posts

Doesn't that sound thrilling? Okay, off to blow my nose...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


That is how I feel this morning. I was up several times during the night with the hope that a drink of water would make my throat feel better. While it helped a bit at the time this morning I woke up with a flaming sore throat (in the dark no less). Seems I managed to go all winter without a cold, flu or sinus problem but wham, the weather turns nice and I feel like crap. Maybe its the fact that stuff has started blooming?! Its supposed to be 70 here today!

Of course here at work I have a full day on tap, starting with an executive inquisition, er um meeting so there was no crawling back in bed for me. So I got up and downed some Vitamin I. Put on the new dress I bought at Kohl's last night (gotta love a 30% off everything coupon!), dug out some heels, wriggled into some hose and headed for the office. If I don't feel good maybe looking good will get me through the day. And the dress, it came from the regular sizes not the plus sizes--talk about non-scale victory. I also felt lighter this morning and sure enough, down 2 pounds from Friday--how the heck does that happen--do the little fat globs sneak out in the middle of the night? I guess I'll ride the loss and the new dress through the day and count my blessings that it is Tuesday and I get to leave early to pick Boobah up at preschool.

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Sunday Curse

I don't know what the deal is but I feel like we have a black cloud hanging over our house on Sundays. They are never the relaxing, recharge for the week ahead days that I imagine in my head. As often as not G-man and I end up disagreeing about something and spend the day in our separate corners. The kids sense something is wrong and either act up or are clingy. The crappy day then leads to no sleep Sunday night making Monday no treat either.

Its just been in the last few weeks that the pattern has become so clear to me. I have no idea how to fix it. A few weeks ago we played hooky from church, I had visions of a relaxing Sunday together as a family with nothing to do, no pressure to accomplish anything other than to relax. Maybe that is pressure in and of itself?

I feel crappy today over things that were said yesterday. I don't know how things got there, let alone how to make it better. It is frustrating beyond belief.

Anybody out there in the blogosphere have a similar pattern? Advice for breaking out of it?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In: New Commitment Week 3

Saying I am frustrated would be an understatement. I tracked all my calories this week, went to the gym 4 times and somehow I managed to pick up .2 pounds. Intellectually I know that it could be remedied by one good trip to the bathroom, it could just be water, the weight training I started, etc. but it is still a real downer after feeling like I was making good progress and had turned things around.

On the positive side, things do feel like they are fitting better and I feel good! I also got all of my water in every day. Not so good, the lunches that were ordered in all week and we ate through lunch. I tried to order good choices (like salad and chicken breast) and estimate the calories on the high side if I had any doubts.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Breaking News...Girl Loses Tooth

After much wiggling and many unsuccessful attempts by PDQ and G-man PDQ lost her first tooth this morning at 7:40AM. News was first reported to mom in the shower proudly holding the dislodged tooth and seemingly unphased by the blood.

Now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

At the time it seemed like such a good idea

To celebrate PDQs birthday, after the disappointment of no breakfast in bed, we let her pick the place for dinner. She picked Cheeburger Cheeburger the mecca of the big juicy burger and greasy fries and rings. I have eaten salad, fruits, veggies and lean meat for weeks so I enjoyed a small burger (half the bun), fries and rings. PDQ and Karateboy enjoyed their burgers too (and yes, Karateboy's burger really IS as big as his head).

After dinner we headed over to Esmerelda's house for a little cake. PDQ picked out a strawberry cake mix and funfetti frosting and I dutifully whipped one up for her. Poor G-man complained mightly about having to smell the cake baking and having to wait an entire day to eat it! PDQ commanded that no one blow out the candles but HER. To make sure that happened she gave Karateboy a hip check as she leaned in to blow out the candles. That's my girl, taking care of business!

So, burger, grease, cake and then off to the gym. Tomorrow I need to go to the funeral home, have Logos tomorrow evening and then my folks are coming for the weekend so I really needed to fit in a good workout. In my quest for fitness and competitiveness I decided to hit both a studio cycling (aka spinning) class and then the group power (aka body pump). I hadn't been to the cycling class in awhile and had never been to this particular one. The instructor wasn't great and her mic was broken so it was hard to hear over the music. I got into a good groove and felt pretty good, it was only 30 minutes. I jumped off the bike and ran to the weight class down the hall. I learned my lesson, or so I thought, on Saturday--use less weight than you think you should. I didn't get out any of the serious weights, I grabbed the two smallest sized plates and the smallest dumbells. It was about the second set of exercises laying down when I could feel the grease sitting in my gut threating to creep up. Ick. By the time we were done torturing our triceps on the step my arms were shaping and I was concentrating on not urping all over myself. Thankfully we stood up again and worked on our biceps and the sick feeling left for the most part. Another good lesson, the burger wasn't really that good--neither were the fries or the rings after the first few. The heavy feeling at the gym even worse. A real, ah-ha moment for me--hope it sticks!

Yep, another reminder, you can't have it all...

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

6 years and a lifetime ago...

PDQs birthday has had me waxing nostalgic. How could have been SIX years ago when I was miserable and waiting a few more days to be induced? And then in an instant it all changed when I got a call--she said your blood work looks a bit off, come to labor and delivery so we can repeat it and you may not be leaving. Let the panic begin! Of course G-man had gone to retrieve our video camera to be ready for my induction that was still two days away, or so we thought. I was excited as we headed off to the hospital and a little scared. Of course when we got there I was not happy to discover the woman I liked least in the OB practice was on duty. The drew more blood and came back to tell me that I had something called HELLP syndrome. I don't remember much else about what she said other than they would induce me starting right then! They started the requisite IV (ouch) our doula/lactation consultant friend came and massaged my hand a bit to make me feel better. She told us she had to teach that night but when things were progressing to call her and she'd be back. Another nurse friend called and we talked about what was going on--it was at that moment the OB nurse decided it was time for a catheter--a little warning next time HON!

A new doctor came on duty. I had only met her once before but I liked her immediately. She was honest with me that the night was going to be unpleasant, my platelets were very low and if I wanted an epidural now was the time because there was a chance of bleeding and the chief anesthesiologist would do it before he left. He did, unfortunately it didn't work. It was blatently apparent an hour later when she broke my water at only 1 cm dilated. I was in pain all night long while G-man dozed beside me, he said I kept squeezing his hand and he just assumed I was mildly uncomfortable--yeah, understatement of the century! They had also started magnesium sulfate to make sure I didn't seize--it did however make me flush and feel like hell. First thing next morning, chief comes back, re-does the epidural--bliss. Less than half an hour later third OB comes in to check me and says we'll be having a baby, soon or sooner. He checks me and announces, you need a c-section right NOW, that was at 8AM. I heard them arguing in the hallway a minute later that they didn't have any of my blood type. I was whisked off to the OR, G-man got on his get-up and by 8:17AM Abigail Lynne was born at barely 6 pounds despite my gestational diabetes.

That night is a blur, because of the chance of seizures I had to stay on the mag for 24 hours after delivery. This meant I spent the night, alone in the labor and delivery unit in the basement of the hospital. Well mostly I was alone. They would bring PDQ to me and I'd attempt to nurse. I clearly remember thinking "what the hell are they doing leaving me alone with this baby when I can barely hold my head up! G-man's mother also called me about a thousand times to inquire whether or not we'd be turning up the heat in our house now that we had a baby--I eventually had to tell the nurses NOT to put her through. I couldn't have imagined the ride we were in for!

That first year sleep was a rare commodity for all of us. She was so tiny, down to 5 lb 5 oz at the low point. I struggled to nurse and grudgingly supplemented with formula. I pumped what seemed like all the time. I was desperate trying to figure out what I could do to not go back to work. Looking back I have no doubt that I had post-partum depression. I felt guilty from all of the complications of my pregnancy. I was so upset about having to use formula. My parents came the weekend after you were born for a week and I had worried for months about my mother coming and taking over, I don't know what I would have done without her help. I sobbed for days when she left. This has always been one of my favorite pictures of PDQ and daddy. He was (and usually still is) the calm in the storm.

Time flew,she walked at a little over 9 months old. Trying desperately to keep up with your much older brothers. From the day you were born she was born she was happy to go to anyone. It made it a little easier to go back to work on one hand, on the other it broke my heart to know someone else could make you happy but not nearly as much as thinking of you miserable all day. Today that personality trait outshines all the rest of them. You love people, you are never deterred in meeting new people, you are the proverbial social butterfly.

Terrible twos, yep, that was pretty accurate. But so darned cute that we could tolerate it--G-man likes to say "its a good thing they are so cute or we might kill them." Halfway through the second year we added Boobah to the family and PDQ took it in stride. I love this picture taken the day Boobah was born, PDQ holding her in her lap and giving her the first kiss. It still makes me melt. The other day I can distinctly remember from 2--Boobah and I had settled into the big chair to nurse. PDQ was at the table behind me having dinner. I felt like I had it all together. Things were quiet, too quiet and when I turned around PDQ had dumped her entire glass of milk into her dinner plate and was so proud, yeah, so much for conquering the two kid thing.

Three was hard. On her third birthday we had a visit from the Binky Fairy who came to take away the binky and left behind the princess box. Thankfully just one night of "I wish I was still 2!" before things settled down--a bit. I told my mother that three was harder than two, she poo-pooed it until PDQ went to spend a week with her--the second day she called to tell me I was right! Atttitude and the verbal skills to tell us what she thought! Late in the year came preschool. I was so sure I had my act together when I dropped her off the first day, until the teachers gave us a little baggie with a sweet poem and a tissue. It was all over for me then! At 3 PDQ had her first real, all on her own friend, Hope. They talked about each other all the time and greeted each other with huge hugs. Although they don't see each other as often they still have that same reaction when they are together. Three was also a bit of a stage debut--flower girl at Aunt Jenny's wedding.

PDQ and her peeps at her fourth birthday party. They were cute, they were loud! Definitely a step up from three, helpful, fun to have around. G-man and I constantly amazed at the stuff that she knew and could do. Watching she and her now mobile sister relate.

I don't know if 5 was such a big year because of all that happened or just because its so fresh in my mind. Starting the year off at Disney, with Grandma and Grandpa was certainly the way to start. Add in a new house, new babysitter, and starting Kindergarten and it was a HUGE year. As always PDQ has taken it all in stride--other than the spider obsession that started when we moved to the new house and piled all the other things on top. To this day we are doing spider checks at night. You have grown so much this year, every day it seems that you are closer to growing up, sometimes its hard to remember that you are a little kid and not a teenager.

So, happy birthday to you PDQ. I could not have imagined the what life would bring us in the last six years and I can't imagine life without you my sweet girl, you take my breath away.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Starting the Week with a Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy this morning. The trials and tribulations of last week seem incredibly insignificant in the big scheme of thing. I am again reminded that being a parent opens your eyes to heart ache that you had never imagined.

Last week there was a fight amongst a bunch of teenagers at a local high school late at night. Over what exactly no one quite knows. A boy ended up dead. The 18 year old son of a friend has been charged with murder. Ironically (according to newspaper reports) his friends called him prior to fight to come along and help out so no one got hurt.

The 30-ish daughter of a co-worker has been fighting a brain tumor since late last year. They had done surgery. She had suffered through the hardest of the radiation and was focused on the last part of her journey. She'd been told that her prognosis was good. He told me that it was taking its toll, there were people all around her who were being told how long they had to live, she looked in him the eye and asked him if there was anything he wasn't telling her. He honestly answered no, that the doctors were very optomistic that she'd make a full recovery. She didn't. Some time on Friday she collapsed and they believe it was her heart. Her family and her doctor's are stunned.

I know that both families have very strong connections to their church. I hope that it will sustain them through this unimaginable time. I know its made me think about my faith, my family and how fleeting life can be.

If it weren't for my children, I don't know that I'd feel nearly so deeply for either family. I know that I will hold my children a little tighter. Worry a little more. Try to cherish each moment with them. Be a little more patient, remain more calm. And make sure that every single time I leave them its with a hug, a kiss and an "I love you."

Friday, March 2, 2007

Future MILF Weigh-In: New Commitment, Week 2

Lots of drama in our house this week, normally that would have meant lots of comfort eating. This week I kept it under control, the no chocolate thing really seems to be working. I even sat through a meeting with a tray full of brownies, chocolate chip cookies and candy in front of me. I did find a single sugar cookie in the mix and enjoyed every single bite. Still loving Spark People, you earn points for recording stuff, being on the message boards, etc. I like those non-weight loss motivators.

In the gym challenge I swam for half an hour last Saturday, it was HARD. Trying to earn my stamps I also spent half an hour on the rowing machine this week, that was hard on my back. I had two elliptical & strength training workouts as well. I am up to 9 of the 20 stamps I need to win my t-shirt. Esmerelda and I are plotting a racquetball game to fill in another square.

Weight loss for the week--1.8 pounds
Total loss--5.4 pounds

Healthy foods--Hebrew National 97% Fat Free Beef Franks, yummy especially for only 50 calories. I made great Date-Nut Blondies from the Weight Watchers 2003 cookbook with a few of my own adaptations (101 calories!), I'll post later!