Thursday, April 19, 2007

The third degree from BuilderMama

Not really, I asked for it. If you'd like to play, here's what to do (its easy, I promise):
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Builder Mama's Questions:
1. What is your biggest challenge as a stepparent, but what do you enjoy the most about it as well?

Wow, what part of step-parenting ISN'T a challenge?! I think the lack of role models and people to talk about it with is one of the things that are really hard. You are suddenly thrust into this role with no good examples, plenty of preconceived notions about evil stepmothers and a Mom on the other side working against you. The hardest part for me in the beginning was distancing myself from a lot of the venom with his ex-wire. Gman would forward these awful e-mails from his ex and eventually I had to ask him to stop, I just couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t prepared to deal with tween/teen angst either, bad enough when its your own kid but when they are someone else’s and they are predisposed not to like you it really sucks. There is an e-group of women that I’ve been online with almost since the beginning of my relationship with GMan and without them I don’t know what I would have done. Some of them have stories that make your toes curl, that perspective and been there, done that is invaluable, especially when you complain and someone says—you knew what you were getting into. Not. Even. Close.

The most rewarding part has been seeing them grow up. There have been some really tough times with eldest stepson and the last few times we've been with him it has actually been pleasant which after years of awfulness was amazing.

2. If you had an entire afternoon to yourself, what would you do?

Sleep? Oh right, I can’t sleep at night, no way it is happening during the day. I’d have a pedicure and a massage. Then I’d head out to this place in Frederick, MD that I read about in Southern Living to try and find some accessories for the house. It’s a huge warehouse with unique stuff that they pick up all over the place, it look fabulous and I haven’t been able to find the time or energy to check it out.

3. How did you meet Scott (GMan)?

Gman and I met online playing backgammon on an old BBS. He was married, I was dating someone pretty seriously and it was all just fun. We kept in touch on and off. Then a few years later he resurfaced and said his marriage was over. We talked on the phone for hours, e-mailed, and IM’d on AOL. Finally we met in person about 9 years ago. I would never have believed it! We’ve been married 7 years now.

4. If you could have a drink with any historical figure, who would it be and why?

Eleanor Roosevelt, she was a woman before her time and I feel like she’d have great insight to share.

5. What is your biggest vice

I guess it’d have to be a toss up between shopping and chocolate. I’m fine as long as I stay away from both but put it right there in front of me and I just can’t resist it!


TxGambit said...

I'll play. Interview me!


TxGambit said...

I also wanted to say that I am not looking forward to the whole stepmom/dad thing either.

I'm sure it is hard for both sides. As the ex-wife, I do not care for his current choice... but who am I to say? And, really I have to give her the benefit of the doubt, right? (though she sounds very immature... I don't know her and trying to be a big person).

Then me as a step-mom to someone? Wow. Not even on my radar yet but something I have thought about.

Or my kids and a step-dad. Wow. Mind blowing.

joansy said...

Good interview!

yerdoingitwrong said...

oooooh! Excellent questions AND answers. I was a step mom in my first marriage and *wow* is it ever hard. You deserve a medal in my book. If you're ever in Seattle I'm taking you out for lots of shopping AND chocolate!!!