Boo!

Happy Halloween to you and yours. You know Gman couldn't let the holiday get away without a special picture. You can imagine my reaction when the girls came running into the house last night to tell me they'd been out with Daddy taking pictures in a graveyard.

Costumes to school-check
Cupcakes to PDQs school-check
Pretzels to Boobah's school-check
Time cleared to attend Halloween/Fall parades and parties-check
Camera-damn! Will I be able to find time in the day to run home to get it? If I do will it be at the expense of stopping for gas?

Should be a seriously frightening day. Nothing like opening the first e-mail at work and having it implore you to read and send comments to something prior to 9:30AM. I must go do so now!

It sucked, but I did it

That is my mantra from the weekend.

It was pouring rain Friday night, I was completely exhausted and we had a dinner to go to at the school with lots of kids running around, seriously mediocre food and nowhere to sit near anyone we knew.

It sucked, but I did it.

It rained all night and Saturday morning it was dark and rainy. We had to get up at 7AM to go kick off girl scout cookie sales in front of the grocery store. It was wet and people were grumpy.

It sucked, but I did it.

After the cookie sales were over I had to get groceries--with my children.

It sucked, but I did it.

After GMan got home, I hadn't been out since Monday because my knee was sore. My knee actually felt pretty good but the rest of it was serious drudgery, I just didn't feel good doing it.

It sucked, but I did it (18 minutes running/12 walking).

I know, nothing earth shattering but I've been seriously burning it at both ends and the weekends are just not a break. Sad to say the high point might have been Abby's soccer game being cancelled due to the weather.

Meme: 7 Random Things

Aimee over at Greeblemonkey tagged me for a 7 Random Things about Me meme. So here goes...

1. I started playing the flute in the fifth grade but ended up being a dud due to the large bow in my top lip. I changed to the perscussion session and since I could read music I spent a lot of time playing the xylophone. Its been a good 20 years since I've played anything other than a tambourine with the kids.
2. In graduate school my thesis was on Communication Styles of Women in Leadership. Later on I developed a presentation based on it and gave it to my colleagues at staff training and at professional organization conferences.
3. I am going to be an Aunt again in January. My sister is pregnant with her second little boy.
4. I really wanted to be an olympic swimmer when I was a kid. I was chubby and didn't swim all that well but I didn't let that stop my fantasies. Betsy Mitchell was an olympic swimming medal winner from my small Ohio hometown. They even named the street passing by the YMCA for her.
5. I had a miscarriage (Nov 9, 2003) between my two girls. The timing of the pregnancy was a surprise but I was pretty sure I wanted a second child. I had just gotten used to the idea when I miscarried. It was really hard but in my mind it clarified the fact that I really did want another baby.
6. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. (Thanks Mom & Dad for that private college education, bet you never imagined I would gain so much.)
7. I have worked for the same company for over 9 years after walking in as a temp for what I expected to be a very short period of time. I was working for VP who was saddled with Y2K work and when I offered to take care of some of the stuff she had on her plate she ended up creating a position for me. When Y2K was over I got a position in the Program Management group and have been here ever since.

I know I should now tag more people. If you haven't been tagged yet, consider yourself IT!

Yeah, what he said

I just finished walking my warm up and started running when a car whizzed by me and somebody yelled something ending in "you fat bitch" from the back of a gray Acura. I was mad. I stewed about it for the first half of my run. Thanks buddy for turning my time to escape into my head time into useless stewing. I mean really, did I know I wasn't fat? What makes you think I am a bitch? Do you always feel it necessary to yell out the car window? Did it make you feel better to make fun of me? Did your parents teach you no manners?

At dinner I told Gman about it. Here is what he wrote. I think he is torqued off enough for the both of us.

Run Maven Run

This morning I went out for my run. I needed to get in 15 minutes of running and 15 walking plus a warm up and cool down. When I got to the top of the hill at the end of the neighborhood I decided I'd run for 5 minutes--that is the longest I've gone at any one stretch so far and last time that got me to the park. I go to the park, I felt good so I kept running, I was just about ready to stop when I saw someone I knew so I kept running, there was a little hill up ahead and I told myself if I could get there I could stop. 8 minutes down, more than half! Yippee. I walked for 4 minutes, up a series of hills (which I think is actually harder than running on the flat). Then I ran another 7 minutes. All of the running in two chunks. I had some serious self talk going on...you can do it, its only a little farther to the tree, bench, bridge, etc.

I am toying with the idea of entering a 5K next weekend, its at the park I where I ran this morning. It is literally 10 minutes from my house. I was hoping Es would want to do it with me but she's doing the 10K at the Marine Corps marathon (you go girl!).

Getting to know my insides

I went to my gyno today as a follow-up to an appointment from about a month ago. I'd been having bleeding issues--like doing it ALL the time. It was annoying but I didn't worry too much. He sent me off to have some blood work done and an ultrasound. His assistant called to tell me my blood work was fine. I called about the u/s results. I called again and again. No return call. So then the debate started, well if it were normal his assistant would call and tell me vs. it was something really bad he'd call me.

Turns out I was right, it was something in between. Apparently he'd been carrying my chart around but hadn't managed to get back to me. It wasn't really bad but it wasn't totally normal, he was glad I was back to see him so he could explain the results. The lining of my uterus was on the thick side, since AF wasn't regular it was hard to tell if it was thick at an appropriate time. He drew pictures of exactly what he was talking about for me on the exam table paper. (And while I appreciated the illustrations in my head I was willing him to get to the freaking point!) The he proceeded to draw a picture of the instrument he could use to do a biopsy. Having just heard a friend relate the tale of her biopsy in the office, I think I turned a little green. He gave me a second option of having a D&C, which is outpatient surgery.

We discussed the pros and cons of both at length, he told me there wasn't too much pain with the biopsy, that he could do it there and then although he'd normally have people take a pain reliever beforehand. He did admit that he's never had one so that it wasn't personal knowledge. One advantage to the D&C (besides being knocked out and feeling nothing) is that it could be the diagnosis tool as well as the cure. Given that I might end up having one anyway and that I am a big freaking chicken, I opted for the D&C.

I wouldn't be too worried about all this except for the fact that the friend who was relaying the story about the biopsy. Her doctor assured her it was probably nothing. It wasn't, it was uterine cancer and she is having surgery on Monday. She's older than I and I know the chances of having the same outcome are pretty small. My doctor did say that he was almost positive it wasn't a big deal, he wanted to do the biopsy to be sure he is right. I know the chances of it being a big problem are small but its still there.

I am going to try and put it out of my mind as much as possible for the next couple of weeks. I am glad that I went when I thought something was off. I know there was a time earlier in my life when I would have talked myself into brushing it off as nothing, it probably is but better safe than sorry.

Return of the Insomnia Monster

The triple threat of acupuncture, exercise and Zoloft has much improved my sleep struggles of the last year. Something though has made the last three nights awful. The first night I thought it must have been the evening exercise--how dare I try to get my run in after dinner and expect the sleep four hours later! The next night I thought, I guess that's what happens when you don't exercise at all (that and when your husband snores like there is no tomorrow). Last night I watched (bad) baseball, baked my cakes for the neighborhood bake sale, took a bath with lavendar and crawled into my bed barely able to keep my eyes open. I couldn't get comfortable. I felt a little nauseous. I tried the bath and book thing again. Then Gman's work phone went off. I couldn't find the right combination of covers-too hot, too cold, too hot, too cold over and over and over. Eventually the phone rang again and Gman got up, dressed and went to work (I think, at least the getting dressed part is true). Sometime later he came in and told me he'd take care of the girls this morning, bless him.

The only thing I can figure is the dread I am feeling about this weekend is keeping me up--my parents visiting, soccer double header, unloading a semi trailer full of girl scout cookies, sorting said cookies, bake sale, refreshments for church. Feels like an extension of the week, not a break from it. And yippee for me, today I get to go to my gyno to see what the heck is going on with my lady garden. I had an ultrasound 2.5 weeks ago (and no, I am certainly NOT pregnant!) and have called for results FOUR times and no one has returned my calls. I keep telling myself that if there was anything wrong I'd have heard about it.

Sleep, where are you when I need you?

Born to Run?

I'm not talking about the Boss here (although I will supply you with a little music video to keep you interested).



At various points in my life I've tried to run. Never have a been very successful. Some people are born to run, my body is just not one of them. I like the idea of running, I like the time alone to think--its the wear and tear on the joints and the burning lungs I could do without. But I decided I wanted to do a triathlon next year so, I guess I have to run at least 5K.

I've been trying to learn to run for the past four weeks. I am doing a Couch to 5K training regimen. I wasn't exactly a couch potato to start with so I started out in phase two where 9 minutes of running got introduced to a 30 min walk/run session. This week it is up to 50/50 running and walking for half an hour. I love that I feel like I am getting a great workout in a relatively short amount of time. I love that I am doing something I've never been able to do before. I love that I can see progress every week. I hate that its dark in the mornings so running outside is something I am just not comfortable with. I hate that if I run in the evening I can't sleep. I hate the fact that if I try to run and then get back work I sweat for the next half hour and the shower I take really does me no good.

This morning I decided the only way I would get my run in was to get us out the door early, drop off the girls, go to the gym, get in a quick workout, shower and dash to the office in time to get my head on for my 9AM meeting. Thank you girlies for being cooperative this morning! Out the door -check, girls dropped off-check, run-check, shower-check. Hey, why am I still sweating? Towel off repeatedly as I dress and dry my hair-check. Get to work-check. Feel dry and confident--not so much. I swear I didn't fully dry out until halfway through my second meeting. I've done the sniff test 10 times, thankfully it seems to be just me that is uncomfortable, at least I'm not smelly.

So, I may not have been born to run but hopefully this old dog can learn a new trick or two! Gretchen, Tree and Anne, my PIMs who just finished the Denver Half Marathon are certainly inspiration! Builder Mama was running 10Ks as well.

Yum-O

How can you add some extra nutrition to your meals without having the nightly battle over eating your veggies? Head on over to Maven Says to check out my review of Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Delicious for the Parent Bloggers Network.

Missing the World from Suburbia

Last night I went to hear Dana Perino, the new White House Press Secretary and Ann Compton the ABC White House Correspondent speak at an industry event at the National Association of Broadcasters offices in Washington, DC. I am a bit embarrassed to say that when I got the invitation neither of the names immediately rang a bell. I knew that Tony Snow had colon cancer, I guess I missed his stepping down somewhere between Brownie Cookie Orders, soccer games, and working through the waiting list for before school care.

Of course I googled them both to find out a little more about them. My first thought when reading about Dana Perino was "WOW, she's only 35!" With the end of that thought being something along the lines of what the heck have I been doing with my life, I am pushing 40. She told the story of her career which was a lot about being in the right place at the right time. She talked to someone at a hockey game who happened to know that her Senator was looking for a new press secretary and he hired her soon after. She wanted to move back to Washington and through connections ended up in a press job at the DOJ. Then her elevation the White House Press Secretary came due to her boss' illness. I don't want to minimize her accomplishments in any way but I thought it illustrated the power of networking and being in the right place at the right time.



Ann Compton was amazing to me. She had 4 kids in 5 years while covering the White House. She proudly declared that she managed to have 2 kids in the 1980 election cycle! When asked about work/life balance she honestly said that her network salary made it a lot easier--she had a full-time housekeeper and a physician husband who didn't travel. That allowed her to travel with Presidents and know that there was a parent home in Washington.

I hadn't attended a professional event in many years, perhaps since I left Higher Education. I had been very active in groups for college housing professionals and college administrators but have never found (or really sought) that same kind of professional allegiance since landing in corporate America. First I feel kind of like the odd person out, I manage programs, not really projects and not in a very traditional way so I don't feel like I fit into the project manager group where people and money management rule the day. Last night I was again at the fringe of the group but it was interesting to mingle with other professional women in my adopted home.


The biggest ah-ha for me though was the losing touch with national and international events. I catch some of the Today Show in the morning, I read the local paper, catch the headlines on the MSN front page and I scan blogs from all over the country. I know who is running for president, who is winning the ALCS, that we are still at war in Iraq and that Facebook banned pictures of breastfeeding. I know the schedule of activities for my neighborhood and my school, I've attended school board meetings, I've written letters to keep the state from taxing health club memberships and I took on leadership for the United Way Campaign at work. Last night I wondered about whether my local focus has gone too far. Is my focus on work, family and my local community coming at the expense of understanding the world around me? I am sure my father the social studies teacher, watcher of the nightly news, reader of all the news magazines and champion of all trivia would be appalled at my lack of knowledge of what is happening in the world. I just can't figure out how I can fit one more piece of information into my head without something important sneaking out!



So, if you are on top of the world and national news--how do you do it?

Great MILF Swap Report Out

Lotta over at Mom-O-Matic instituted the Virtue or Vice MILF swap to keep the MILFs on our toes. I was fortunate to have Katrina over at Embracing the Real Me. I must say I am awfully tardy on getting this posted. Find the camera, oops its dead. Try to find the charging cord, try again, try again. So, you'll just have to settle for a picture from the internet of the fantastic Lousiana Cookin' magazines that Katrina passed along to help me learn to cook Cajun and have yet another Vice! She also sent along some information on Rayne, LA, a Cajun cookbook and a Lousiana tour guide. The last time I visited LA I was pregnant and in the three week span between doctor's visits I gained 12 pounds so I know it is the land of the vice!

Thanks Katrina! Sorry for being perpetually late!

I had to look twice

Last week I finally gave into the inevitable and bought a few new pieces of clothing for Fall. I am not dropping pounds like I'd like and I need something to wear to work.

I found some pants that fit, my thighs do seem to be getting smaller. I even found a jacket to go with one pair to make a suit--on sale, with a coupon. I wore it for the first time today since its been in the upper 80s and 90s since I bought them. I've felt pretty good in my ensemble, nothing earth shattering but a chocolate brown jacket & pants with a turquoise t-shirt and a cool necklace that matches.

Then, this afternoon I peeled off the jacket--my run at lunchtime has kept me warm all afternoon. When I went to put it back on I did a double take on the tag--its a size smaller than I thought I bought. I needed something to help me see progress since its certainly not the scale!

Revenge of the Boob

Unless you've been under a rock somewhere in the blogosphere you've probably heard about the controversy over Facebook removing pictures of breastfeeding from their site. This is where a little grassroots blogging comes in. The League of Maternal Justice was formed and has encouraged us to flood the web with videos nursing Moms and pictures of nursing babies.

Breastfeeding is HARD WORK. It's kind of a dirty little secret that no one shares. Women need support, they need to see other people doing it and they need people to get over the objectification of the breast and get in line with the American Academy of Pediatrics that says that breast milk is best for babies by making it easier for women to breastfeed, not harder. I am lucky that I have an employer who, through their employee assistance plan, paid for all but $50 of my breast pump and has a room in every building where you can pump in relative quiet and comfort.

Nursing Moms and their precious babies shouldn't be relegated to restrooms and the backseats of their cars. Really, I'd rather see a happy baby and perhaps a tiny sliver of skin than to hear the cries of a hungry baby. I suspect those same people who wouldn't want to see a woman feeding a baby in public are the same ones who'd tell her that she needs to do something to quiet that baby down or move somewhere else. I've never seen anyone baring it all, even in more private nursing places. Most Moms I know try to keep as much covered as possible while getting things hooked up and then, there is no nipple exposed. A baby is more obscene than pasties?

I do have to say, there is a fine line between supporting breastfeeding and making women who just can't make it work feel bad. I worked with a lactation consultant (thanks Becky!) from pretty much the moment my first was born. I'd been very sick and with all that my body had been through milk production wasn't high on its list of supported functions. I was in tears at 4AM in the hospital, alone, pressured by the nursery nurses to give PDQ formula and hearing the lactation consultant and childbirth instructors in the back of my head--breast only! It was hard, perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done to continue to try and nurse her. When I had to supplement with formula I felt like a failure. I think we need to encourage a culture where feeding your baby doesn't become another of the ways women make each other feel bad (okay, off that soapbox now).

So, in your face, Facebook. Enjoy these photos of well-fed babies:

Cleveland Rocks!

The first time I went to an Indians game it was in Municipal Stadium. We were in great seats and there were about 10,000 people at the game. The next time I went to an Indians game it was at Jacobs Field and the seats weren't great but they were all filled. I waited in line at Thanksgiving to get tickets to a game or two the following season. The last time the Indians were in the playoffs I lived near Cleveland. The last time the Indians were in the playoffs there was no football in Cleveland. The last time the Indians were in the playoffs we had a get together every night to watch the games, eat, drink and be merry. The last time the Indians were in the playoffs I had no husband, no kids, no furniture, no mortgage and lots of time to sleep.

I stayed up entirely too late last night watching the Indians take out the Yankees in four games in the American League Division Series. A little insight into this obsession--I got an e-mail from my Mother first thing this morning that simply said "Go Tribe! Boston here we come!"

Eating pavement

When I started riding my bike more I swore I'd never get clipless pedals eventhough I had the shoes from spinning class. A few days out on the trails trying to get up hills and having my feet slide around cured that! Saturday morning I headed out to ride a favorite trail determined I wasn't going to walk the bike, I was going to make it up every hill.

At the end of the 10 mile ride (I wanted to do more but the trip back home to retrieve my helmet ate up an extra half hour) I was feeling great. Got up all the hills--check. Didn't fall over-check. As I neared the parking lot where I was parked there were lots of people. There was a "walk for paws" going on in the park on the other side of the road. Not only were there lots of people but lots of dogs. Not wanting to run anyone over I decided I'd get off the bike and walk it up the hill to the parking lot. Apparently I should have started that thought process just a tad sooner.

I got my first foot unclipped quickly. Unfortunately I was quickly coming to a stop and leaning towards the other foot. So, in front of bunches of people I toppled over on the asphalt. I was horribly embarrassed, really couldn't I have fallen over without so many witnesses? I managed to untangle myself. Some nice guy picked up my bell and reattach it. A little blood from the elbow, a little scrape on the knee I was just fine. Then the little old man who had been observing said "I don't think anyone needs those things unless you are riding 50 miles or something, certainly not for just riding around." It was everything I could do not to tell him that I would've been just fine if he hadn't poking along so I couldn't possibly have made the turn I needed to get to my car.

I knew it was inevitable, eventually I'd end up on the ground. The whole thing happened in slow motion. The realization, oh shit, I'm falling...Oh, I really hope this doesn't hurt too bad...Geez, I must look really stupid with my other leg up in the air. In spin class one morning they were joking about it, discussing the fact that everyone falls over eventually--and more than once. They said that after the first time its just a feeling of resignation and here I go again. I hope I don't have to find that out too soon!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

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Wordless Wednesday

Because quite frankly I have no idea what to say, so enjoy.

Monday, Monday

Back to the grind after a busy weekend. Where the heck does time go? How could it possibly be October already? September is a blur. I forgot that the beginning of school brings chaos, here I was thinking that it was good to get back in a routine--HA!

We've had two back to school nights, training for our mid-week youth program at church, soccer practice and games, brownies, and brownie cookie Mom training just to name a few fun things. We never get invited to parties and our neighborhood had one two weeks ago and we've been invited to another Saturday night. On top of it I fit in a coffee with the ladies, stamp camp and a night at Let's Dish so we could actually eat this month. The girls have both been to the dentist, Boobah to the doctor twice, acupuncture, I had to go visit my friendly gyn and today I have to go to the dentist. Thank goodness for Outlook syncing GMan and I up or we'd never been anywhere on time!

So here's to October and maybe NOW we can getting into a normal, sane schedule?

Things overheard at my house:

(Boobah and PDQ getting into the van in the garage)
Boobah: You don't say SHIT.
Me: Hey, we don't say that word.
Boobah: I know, that's what I just said!

Boobah: Daddy, will you kill this bug for me?
Gman: Sure
Boobah: Okay, I will clean up the guts with a tissue

Upon finding Boobah and PDQ in the bathroom washing a flip flop in the sink.
Me: What are you doing?
Boobah: Cleaning off bug guts, we deaded it with the shoe

Finally, happy birthday to Esmerelda (a day late). We did celebrate with her last night. A flight of margaritas and chocolate cake--what more could a girl want?